Yes I’m Going Through Chemo, But I Still Want To Hear About Becky From Work

October 12th, 2018

Let’s clear the air here. After completing my first week of chemo, I feel like I have the authority to say it’s not the most ideal way to spend the weekdays. I’ll regret saying this when I start taking the Long Island Railroad again but I miss the train strangers and the homeless man in Penn Station who always looked like he was throwing up in the garbage can. But hey, that’s just my opinion, enjoying the LIRR over chemo.

I’m going to take this opportunity to explain my chemo treatment so that all questions can be answered and my secretaries (my mom and Mikaela) can take the weekend off.

I started my first cycle of chemotherapy this past Monday. For the first week, I was in the infusion center for about 4-6 hours each day. On Day 1, I got nausea drugs, some steroids, 2 hours worth of fluids, and then the chemo drugs: Bleomycin, Cisplatin, and Etoposide. For the most part, Day 1 was survivable besides the 10 seconds where I stopped breathing and my face turned as red as a tomato and they had to bring in the oxygen machine. It’s cool, we survived it.

Between days 2-5, I went back to the infusion center to get steroids, liquids, and 2 of the chemo drugs: Cisplatin and Etoposide. After the first week of getting drugs every day, I then go back to the infusion center on days 8 and 15 to get the one drug bleomycin. Between days 15-21 I have to go to the pulmonary center to make sure my lungs are not affected by the bleomycin.

21 days in length

Days 1-5 we get a helping of Cisplatin and Etoposide

Days 1, 8, and 15 we get a dash of bleomycin

Then we take a pit stop to make sure the lungs are still up to snuff.

Lather, rinse, repeat for 3 cycles

Put that all together and we probably end chemotherapy treatment sometime toward the New Year.

Are we good now?

We have survived week 1 but we are nowhere close to being over so let’s just hold off on those hooray text messages.

The worst part, of course, there’s a worse part, is probably the side effects that come with the chemo. I can be sitting pretty in the infusion center hanging out with my mom, chatting with the nurses, or reading my book but the real-deal side effects don’t usually hit until I get home. Well, that’s actually a lie. One of the side effects of the chemo is fatigue and I feel that about 24/7. My bed is my best friend until it’s 3 a.m. in the morning and I can’t fall asleep because of the damn steroids.

The nurses believed I would fly through this due to my age and how physically fit I was. My mind was set to positive thinking but after Day 1 I realized the nurses were not necessarily correct. Day 1 I was experiencing the side effect of being nauseous and just my luck CVS did not have my nausea meds on file. Thanks to my mom who rustled a few feathers we were able to get the drugs and I survived my first, and now many, bouts of nausea. Gotta love it.

The thing about the chemo that I’m receiving is that it all accumulates over time so I could be feeling good week 1 cycle 1 but could be feeling terrible week 1 cycle 3. Just like Bruce Almighty said, “that’s just the way the cookie crumbles.”

Ok so are we all caught up on Marguerite’s chemo process? Yes? Yes! Good!

That being said, please talk to me about anything BUT chemo. I currently live and breathe and get my port accessed every day in the greater name of chemo but that doesn’t mean I want to talk about it all the time. When I do want to talk about it I’ll let you know and I hope you’ll be there to listen. Instead of asking how am I feeling, know that I am probably not feeling well. I’m most likely tired. I’m most likely nauseous and I most likely don’t want to talk about how I’m feeling because it’ll be the same…or worse.

Don’t get me wrong there are plus sides! I mean look how damn cozy I look and the company I get to keep (shoutout to my best friends dad)!

The nurses are also so nice and it’s their job to listen to all my ailments so let the nurses do their job! The guy that checks me in each morning said I was lovely so I’m pretty sure he has the hots for a certain chemo patient. And sometimes I even get free lunch if it’s under $10 so that’s a win, win, win! The other day I had a fried chicken chipotle mayo wrap and it was the actual bomb.

Let’s not forget the fact that I get to have lovely photo shoots with my chemo companion pole looking hot to trot so there’s another win! Seriously though I don’t think I wore my glasses this religiously since 5th grade before I knew contacts existed and I am currently digging my vibe.

Here’s what I do want and how you can help:

I want stories about Becky from work because we both hate Becky from work.

I want stories about Mr. Professor Who Sucks because he assigned a paper due the week after fall break. Asshole.

I want stories about Chad/Brad/Tad from J.P. Morgan who we love to hate because he has such a pretty face but a terrible personality.

I want jokes that are so corny that I’ll have to run outside of my little curtain and tell the nurses that I’m dying from laughter.

I want TV show chit-chat so that I can feel like I actually watched the episode with you.

I want constant life updates about Chad Michael Murray in case his relationship status changes.

I want you to complain to me about the things that seem small compared to my chemo but HUGE in your life.

Don’t apologize for having problems. This is not a competition. I do not want to win the “Sobbiest Sob Story” for a 23-year-old.

So all I ask is that you politely take the kid gloves off, read this instead of asking me about chemo, and tell me about freaking Becky from work.

P.S. I do not work with anyone named Becky and like all my coworkers. Ok, the end.